saved by grace

We knocked on a door yesterday and a woman with a cute short gray hair (that made me miss my short hair a little), golden round hoop like earrings and tentative smile opened the door. The more I knock on doors, the more I like to see who might be on the other side. The anticipation is almost exciting as you admire how like their deep blue flowers or the stained glass in their door. When we introduced ourselves to this woman and asked if she knew about our religion, she said that she had actually interviewed and hired a Mormon for her work and they talked a little about it then. As we asked her questions and wondered if she was interested, there was this awkward silence that I'm all too familiar with as they try to say something as if not to offend us.

 

"Yeah, but I'm a Christian." She says, and I always feel confused when people say this.

 

"We're Christians too, we believe in Christ."

 

She smiled, sorta skeptical, "Yeah, but you just have a little different view on Christ."

 

"We believe Christ is our Savior." She didn't seem convinced.

 

"And we believe we are saved by grace, and that through that power we are changed."

 

It was after she agreed and realized that we believed in the same Savior of the world that she stepped out from behind the glass and screen door that she started to talk to us.

 

I could see, on the outside looking in, that people see all the things we do and the strict life style and strange ways and get distracted by the nickname 'Mormon' and not realize that the name of our church has, "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints". In the things we do, everything we strive to do and become has to do with our Savior. There's this awesome talk by Brad Wilcox on the Atonement (here's the link if you want to read it: https://www.lds.org/youth/article/his-grace-is-sufficient?lang=eng), in this he shares an experience about a friend who says to him: "Yeah, but you Mormons think you can earn your way into heaven. Have you been saved by grace?" He responds to his friend that we aren't earning heaven, but learning heaven. "Yes, I have been saved by grace. Have you been changed by grace?"

 

In the same talk he speaks about he likens Christ paying out debt like a mother paying for piano lessons for her child. What does the mother ask of the child? To practice. What does the Savior ask of us? To follow him. He's made the difference, all we need to do is accept his sacrifice and do what he asks of us.

 

It's not easy. This week we have a baptismal date for one of our investigators. She wants to be baptized, she wants to follow Christ's example and be baptized by the same authority that was on the earth with Christ was here. She absolutely loves the Book of Mormon, and she is just so golden, she even makes me realize how for granted I take all that I have. But she's been struggling to give up smoking- it's been really hard. And the things that God asks us to do aren't easy- and sometimes we won't understand, especially if we can't understand what God sees in us. That's why it's so important to know that we are sons and daughters of a God, a king.

 

To help illustrate, C. S. Lewis likens us as "a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace”

 

During this process I usually get frustrated when I mess up. And for our investigator who starts over every day, trying to give up smoking, it can be discouraging when we give way to the weaknesses of the flesh. Think back on the mother who bought piano lessons for her child, what is the child going to start out sounding like on the piano? Not... very good. Or even me if I were going to start learning how to play the piano, I'd make everyone leave the room so they wouldn't have to endure me messing up and repeating the same notes over and over and over again. Sunday morning I felt like this, I felt inadequate and frustrated with my own weaknesses, and it's a helplessness that can't be escaped unless you understand the power of mercy and grace of Christ. I keep messing up! But- plunking the wrong key doesn't disqualify you from practicing. Messing up in life doesn't mean you can't keep going. I heard this part of the talk on the way to church in the car, and I found tears slipping down my face. I wasn't sure where they came from at first, but only to re-realize that messing up doesn't mean you can't stop practicing.

 

In church on Sunday during Relief Society the teacher shared this "story of a young piano student. His mother, wishing to encourage him, bought tickets for a performance of the great Polish pianist, Paderewski. The night of the concert arrived and the mother and son found their seats near the front of the concert hall. While the mother visited with friends, the boy slipped quietly away.

“Suddenly, it was time for the performance to begin and a single spotlight cut through the darkness of the concert hall to illuminate the grand piano on stage. Only then did the audience notice the little boy on the bench, innocently picking out ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.’

“His mother gasped, but before she could move, Paderewski appeared on stage and quickly moved to the keyboard. He whispered to the boy, ‘Don’t quit. Keep playing.’ And then, leaning over, the master reached down with his left hand and began filling in the bass part. Soon his right arm reached around the other side, encircling the child, to add a running obbligato. Together, the old master and the young novice held the crowd mesmerized.
“In our lives, unpolished though we may be, it is the Master who surrounds us and whispers in our ear, time and time again, ‘Don't quit. Keep playing.’ And as we do, He augments and supplements until a work of amazing beauty is created. He is right there with all of us, telling us over and over, ‘Keep playing.’”

I testify that as we strive to live the commandments of God, that He does surround us. He fills in our basic plunking at the piano with beauty unfathomable. But in order to do so, we first must be playing. And we must let Him, we have our agency (our ability to choose right from wrong). He will be there, and He loves us so much.
Thank you for all ya'lls prayers. No news about my visa- so feel free to send letters. <3
Sister Duncan