Love in clouds

I had to go into the dark tunnel to enter the train. The train had come back because one of my aunts were on the train and had something to give me. I took it from her and read it, "write in this when your safe." It didn't make sense, and still doesn't. As the train left once more I staying in the tunnel and listened as it got further and further. I turned to leave, but realized that the gate I had passed through to get to get to the train had closed and was locked. I could have climbed over the gate, that was no big deal, but I remember that it was against the rules for some reason, therefore it wouldn't be exactly obedient. A fear filled me when I realized that there was no way out- and who knows how long I'd be in this dark tunnel before the next train came to unlock the gate. Why weren't there people? Wasn't this a train station? I felt trapped, but instinctively I prayed fervently in my heart, telling the Lord of my position, "Lord, it's against the law to climb over this fence and would be not exactly obedient if I did so, but I know that you'll provide a way for me." It was weird, I did pray for him to do so, just expressing my faith in his promises. Not long after I saw a light, then heard the train coming around the corner and they opened the gate to let me through. What? Come back again? I guess someone on the train had had the prompting to come back and let me through.

Yes, it was only a dream- but I remember waking up and remembering the feelings of the dream, because usually the feelings of my dreams linger with me throughout the remainder of the day. I remember walking into the light, out of the darkness of the tunnel and feeling God's love for me, that he heard me in my time of need.

In Michigan if you want sun or rain, you'll probably get both. It's amazing how while the sun shines- the clouds also like to hover. Anyone who knows me, probably knows my obsession with clouds. I love them, I love how different they are from passing moment to moment, I love how majestic they are here in Michigan. It's so green, and reminds me of home. It's crazy how green it is here, the only thing they lack is the moss and evergreens. Anyways, back to clouds, clouds are like a painting background, as if we were in a movie or play, the backdrop here is beautiful. For me, recognizing these small things, or like the baby dove that hatched a few days ago in the car cover...thing... helps me to slow down, and I just eat up these moments where everything is intensified and feels so real!

This happens in lessons too- as I listen to the people that we teach (investigators) and I really understand and feel for them and their problems, I feel a love so strong... I even tried to explain it in my journal one day. "You...just can't understand this love I feel, unless you find it yourself, unless you find those opportunities to serve....it's just not possible for me to explain how happy I am, these pages just can't contain this joy. 3 Nephi 26:6 "And now, there cannot be written in this book even a hundredth part of the things which Jesus did truly teach unto the people;" <-- For reals. His love and teachings are so great - that love of His that I feel just couldn't fit on these pages."

We had a miracle find, it's too long to share right now, but remind me when I get back and I'll share it with you. She really wasn't interested, this lady who was packing things in our garage. Kinda looking up and giving us half answers. When she realized we were Mormons (I guess the Jehovah Witnesses have gone through Grand Ledge quite a bit) she perked up a little. "Oh, my boyfriend would love to talk to you!" And she continued to explain how he had a whole shelf of books on Mormons. What?!! He even had four encyclopedias about Mormons. She brought us inside to show us- and I was amazed, truly. A ton of books, and a whole shelf or so on the Mormons. Anyways- that's a different part of the miracle. As we were leaving her I felt like I should tell her of the things that I knew to be true for myself, though she still wasn't interested. Earlier she had said how her dog had died, a couple weeks ago her father had passed away, and they were in the midst of moving. Having been familiar with the death of loved ones...I couldn't imagine trying to pack the things of that loved one and not having a bajillion reminders of them, good and bad... I told her that I knew God loved her, that he knew what she was going through- and others things I don't remember, and she started to cry! Have you ever had someone start to cry in front of you, and not know what to do? My companions are probably painfully familiar with this sort of thing with me, haha. But I felt an intensified love, "Can I give you a hug?" I asked and she nodded. My mother and family will be glad to hear that I'm starting to understand the purpose of hugs. But, that specific hug I felt more of a proxy hug from God to this lady. It was crazy, and the happiness after this moment when we left wanted to burst all the roof tops everywhere! I was exploding with light and joy! Ah!

We did meet with her boyfriend later- let me tell you, I've never met a person who wasn't Mormon, who knew so much Mormon lingo. He actually wasn't interested in learning more, but we invited him to church, hopefully he'll come next sunday.