I hopped a P-Day over, to tuesday! I forgot that we had temple this week! So as I'm writing this, I'm still feeling the warm leftovers of the temple session.
This past Sunday was fast and testimony meeting- which as missionaries we aren't encouraged to bear our testimonies and take up the time of the members, because we have every day of the week to bear our testimonies (AND in portuguese...)! This Sunday I wasn't feeling very good- and yeah, even missionaries have their down days. I don't know why before the mission I saw them almost like superheros, unable to be penetrated- which, I guess I can see why- knowing the mantel or responsibility given to each, and the Spirit to guide them. In fact, the life of a missionary to the outsider could look like something oh so beautiful.
That's what I bore my testimony about on Sunday. I didn't have any intentions to bear my testimony, didn't feel my heart rushing or anything. But one Irmã in our ward, after 18 years of being baptized, she bore her testimony for the first time! It was a sweet and very powerful three phrase testimony. But I guess testimony, as prayer, isn't made up of words. It's made up of the heart, which I was reading in Jesus, The Christ. She sat down and after a few minutes poked us to get up and go bear our testimony. It took my companion taking my bag and Book of Mormon off my lap- and standing up first, in order for me to get up and going. But if you knew the prayer I had in my heart for an answer to my "blues" it was exactly this.
I don't remember all I said, but it was the words that came, as if I were bearing testimony to myself, reminding myself of my purpose as a missionary.
We had run into a couple who had lived next to the MTC in Brazil for a very long time. They moved into our neighborhood for five months, what are the chances that I stop and starting talking to them, of everyone in our area? They asked us about our missions, what we did, how we paid our way, how we don't talk to our family every day, all other sorts of sacrifices that for me (really understanding my purpose) aren't so great. Yet they were amazed, repeating over and over, "wow, beautiful. the work you do it so beautiful" Beautiful, so beautiful. But I remember feeling frusterated, not knowing why at first, and then realizing...Our purpose on the mission is not to be beautiful, but the things that we recognize as beautiful in life, are usually the things with the most sacrifice.
I don't remember all I said, but it was the words that came, as if I were bearing testimony to myself, reminding myself of my purpose as a missionary. We had run into a couple who had lived next to the MTC in Brazil for a very long time. They moved into our neighborhood for five months, what are the chances that I stop and starting talking to them, of everyone in our area? They asked us about our missions, what we did, how we paid our way, how we don't talk to our family every day, all other sorts of sacrifices that for me (really understanding my purpose) aren't so great. Yet they were amazed, repeating over and over, "wow, beautiful. the work you do it so beautiful" Beautiful, so beautiful. But I remember feeling frusterated, not knowing why at first, and then realizing...Our purpose on the mission is not to be beautiful, but the things that we recognize as beautiful in life, are usually the things with the most sacrifice.
Like the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Anyone could admit that such a sacrifice of love is something so beautiful, but what's the use if we're receiving a chocolate egg and put it on the shelf just to look at because it's pretty.
I know that through our sacrifice we'll create memories, make friends, and become "new creatures" and find more happiness in our lives. I know that Christ left the path very clear how to return to Him, and that it's through The Book of Mormon that what was beautiful, becomes usable. Through the restored Gospel of Christ, is where progress is turned into change everlasting!
I love you all, so much, I'm praying for you all.
Sister Duncan
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