Costs monies, but tudu bem. (:
WOW! I can´t believe it´s been a week! So much has happened, so many
feelings, so much of everything! So all very new. To think I have to
find a place to start and finish... I feel like I have a canvas with a
hundred different colors- I feel like the best way to express this
week it to take them all in a bucket and splash and splatter the
canvas. Unfortunately the closest I could come to words that could
reflect my week like that would be nonesense. sjdfhl skjdhfiu kjsdfl
ksjdfh. Exactly! That´s what everything sounds like anyways.
Have I already mentioned my parable of the hill? How when you´re in a
trough, the hill casts a shadow and you can´t see the light. Ups and
downs, the week has been a rollarcoaster and a half! But everything
somehow works out, everything ends up being good, everyday when I felt
like I´d run into the end of the world, I´d receive a tender mercy,
and realize that my perspective had only been skewed. I had an awesome
gentle reminder yesterday, from one of the talks from conference that
my companion was playing. A reminder that the Atonement of Jesus
Christ doesn´t make us immune to our difficulties, but gives us
VICTORY over death! Similarly, the Atonement doesn´t take away our
difficulties in life, nor pain necessarily all the time- but if we
endure well, then through the Atonement, truly accessing it- we have
VICTORY.
The stake president lives in our area, and we ate lunch at their home
this week. I have a tendency of not saying much, not because I have
nothing to say....... I mean, it´s not all of the reason. I understand
usually the gist of the conversation, but not everything, so I may
know that they´re talking about dogs, but I don´t know what about
dogs. Something about a sickness that is hard, but I don´t know what
brought it up in the first place. And the wife noticed that I wasn´t
saying anything. The family knew some English, so she said a little to
me. As Americans, not only do we know our language enough to soften
our language, but to "beat around the bush" as was brought up this
week, but there´s not much of that in Brazil.
"You have to mess up." She told me, with facial expressions I knew
were loving, but in a bluntness that got to the point. It triggered my
emotions, and the thought of messing up, not communicating
correctly... On the way out into the rain (ah, the rain- tender mercy
right there) someone in the family used an english expression,
something like, "chin up"- you can do it! And it reminded me of an
Elder in Michigan, he had a 24hr smile- that was sometimes contagious,
except for when my pride got in the way. You know, when happy people
are annoying? But I´m going down a rats hole. All I know is that God
is a God of tender mercies. I saw it time and time again. When I
thought I´d have nothing good to say in my journal, after prayers and
working, there was ALWAYS something, always a miracle, always
something to turn my day around.
And I know it´s because of my prayers. Not only my own, but the
prayers of my family and friends. I know I´m so blessed to be here in
Brazil and this time of my life. Here and now!
This week my companion hasn´t been feeling very good. ): But let me
tell you, I wish I had before and after pictures, because I don´t
think this small apartment remembered what ´clean´ means. And I´ve had
time to read the scriptures, the life of Christ, in the Americas and
in Europe. I´ve never felt so much love and excitement- and I know as
you study the life of Christ, you understand more how you can change
and be happier. My brother in Russia expressed just how happy he is-
and I know it´s because of THIS WORK, missionary work, Christ´s work.
As a missionary it´s easy, it´s what we do, but I know everyone can
have this same joy. Study Christ´s life, and go about doing good, and
you can´t go wrong. Just make the choice, when we have no energy, but
make the decision and just DO, then the energy and love follows.
"And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I
would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and
not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no
witness until after the trial of your faith." Ether 12:6 Book of
Mormon
Fun Brazilian fact: here in Santo Andre at least, there are ants that
travel in a line- like in movies and animal planet. They carry big
pieces of leaves, which look so cool from afar- a line with green
pieces moving about. And I saw my first pair of green wild parrots
this week! Which is awesome, especially here in the city. (:
Thank you for your love and prayers. Thank you for everything.
Let´s together go forward with a happy heart! (:
With love,
Sister Duncan
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